being a branch

Abide. This word keeps coming to me over and over while on the Africa Mercy. Jesus says He is the vine, and I am a branch, and I need to abide in Him.

a-bide: (verb) To rest, remain, continue, stay.

It has much more to do with being than doing. Ahhh, now that strikes a deep chord in me, the do-er. Always gotta be productive. Strive, perform, do things for Jesus. It's much harder for me to just...be.

This morning I sat on a wooden adirondack chair, gazing out over the ocean, gentle warm wind ruffling my hair as a daddy would ruffle his beloved child's hair. I smiled. Papa God...is that You, ruffling my hair, letting me know You love it when I abide in You? When I stop, and rest, and just talk with You?

I resist being a branch. I don't want to just sit and wait for the Vine to push nutrients into me, to make me grow in His time, to be dormant when He wants, to bear much fruit in His season. I want to be an independent branch, doing what I want when I want. But every time I pull away from the Vine, I notice a depletion of energy.

I get thirsty. I get hungry. I need nourishment, and I go looking for it in all the wrong places. Then I crawl (do branches crawl?) back to the Vine, leaves curled and browning, begging to be grafted back in and given another chance. He never refuses me.

That's what I love about the Vine. He is always waiting to give, never cuts me off, knows what I need and when. I think I'll stay. Remain. Abide.